After a fortnight’s abandonment, I steadied myself for a trip to the veg patch. Weeds everywhere, of course, and faded bean sticks, nibbled sweetcorn and rotten raspberries. But I worried not, for amidst the decay of summer there is still the sweet autumnal harvest – the unshowy and unsexy brassicas and parsnips, the not-yet-ripe squash, and the ever-lasting flowers. All of them thriving, in their own way.

Just as I’ve been yearning for stews and soups once the night draws in, in the mornings I want soft, comforting nourishment. Working alone, from home, I’m often on back-to-back Zoom meetings for 4+ hours a day which believe me, is exhausting. Headaches are an everyday part of life now. To endure it all I need yoga, stamina – and porridge.

The trick to porridge is ratios and time. When I say ‘time’, I am of course talking minutes rather than hours, but I do think that proper oats cooked for 8 minutes in the microwave are deeply superior to those 90 second instant packets that so many office workers use (or used…do you remember the days of putting on actual clothes to go on an actual train for an hour, just to sit behind a desk all day? What madness that was).

I suppose it could be cooked on the hob but that involves hovering over the stove to avoid the risk of burning, and in the morning I’m probably also putting a wash on or shooing the neighbourhood cats off my garden, so a microwave it is. I habitually add coconut to my porridge, partly for the vitamins and flavour, but mostly for the gentle sweetness it provides – I find that I don’t then need much extra sugar or syrup, which I say not as one of those dull sugar-fascists but because I have found that too much refined sugar in the morning makes me feel iller-than-ill.

The ratios bit is fun. I have done away with scales when it comes to oats and instead use one of Harry’s tommee-tippee sippy cups, the ones that hold about 200mls. You could use a broken old mug, or a measuring cup, or whatever you like. For every 3/4 sippy-cup of oats, I add 1/4 cup desiccated coconut, 3/4 cup milk and 1 cup of water. In other words, for 1 part coconutty-oats, add 1 and 3/4 parts liquid.

Tip the lot into the largest microwaveable mixing bowl you own – this bit is important because it bubbles like mad and no-one needs to be clearing that mess up first thing in the morning (I speak from experience). Split porridge does look like baby sick, don’t you think?

Anyway, microwave for 5 minutes whilst you put the kettle on. Give it a stir, then pop it back in for 90 seconds. Finally add your berries – a handful of fresh blueberries works for me at the moment, but frozen allotment fruits will find their way into my porridge during the winter months, the sourer the better. Microwave again for 1 final minute (if using frozen berries they may need a little longer, use your judgement on this one). Total cooking time, 7.5 minutes. If you have timed it right, your mug of tea will also now be of a drinkable temperature.

When it’s done, tip the lot into a bowl, add a circle of cold milk around the edge (this is a traditional Scottish touch) and then finish with the merest hint of maple syrup, just a teaspoon or two. Or more, if you have a sweeter tooth than me.

Eat in front of the laptop, ideally before the first meeting of the day.